Common Question:  My husband is an addict but I end up with a label of co-dependent, why?.
It is very easy for a spouse of an addict to blame all problems on the addict.  Of course many problems do stem from the addiction.  However if a person wants to see true healing in their marriage or relationship they need to look at the problems and consider how they have contributed.  As the saying goes where ever there is an addict a co-dependent is not far behind.  Co-dependency starts out in a relationship where the co-dependent in the best way they know starts to try and control the addict in an effort to help them stop.  The problem is that it feeds the dysfunction of the relationship and makes things worse and puts up a barrier for the healing to begin.  Although you are not responsible for any of the addicts behavior you are responsible for your own.  When an addict truly starts to seek out help the spouse needs to seek help also otherwise one spouse starts to get healthy and the other doesn't.  This type of situation is a major contributor to relationships failing.

Why do I need counseling?
Life is complicated, we all hire professionals to do things that we cannot do.  Of course you can buy all the books and learn as much as you can about your issue, however it is very easy to miss things or misinterpret things.  Having an independent person who looks at your situation without any preconceptions can facilitate real change.

What can I expect in counseling?
Counseling in many ways is like a new friendship.  Early time is spent learning about you and your issues looking at your family of origin and your current family life.  Once the background is established, I can work to guide you through the process of healing in your particular problem.  Many people have expressed how freeing it is to have a person you know you can talk with that knows everything about you and is still willing to talk with you.  Isolation is a major problem that keeps us in our issues.  Take the first step and talk with someone about your problem.